so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
