Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
