she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
