So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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