Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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