I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
