Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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