Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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