Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i barfeds in our rink
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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