Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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