I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize