I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he shaved USA in his pubs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
