I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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