i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
