I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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