Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
