I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
