just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize