i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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