I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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