Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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