Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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