you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
