i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
