Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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