i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
