Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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