just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
