We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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