Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize