He uses pillows to masturbate.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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