whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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