My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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