i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
