hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She made me pour olive oil on her.