That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.