The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex