well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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