I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.