I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
