I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize