found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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