Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
