So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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