you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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