I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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