i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
