Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
