Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
soo... how was my night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
