I wish I could punch you in the face.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
