I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
