hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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