I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
