I'm jealous of your bromance
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
