There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize