I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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