I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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