Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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