At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
