yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
