Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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