We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
