Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
