someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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