OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
