Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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